If you are looking to contact me, fill out this amazingly simple form. It's your best shot at reaching me. No, really. I check my e-mail more often than I answer my phone.
Oh, c'mon! If you don't know your own name there's nothing I can do for you!
Honest to Buddha I'm not going to spam you! I try not to be a hypocrit, and I want spammers to die slow, torturous deaths.
You don't want to give me your phone number, I don't blame you a bit. I'm just giving you the option.
Did we know each other in a previous life? Are you my spirit guide? Did we sleep together in an ill-considered moment of drunken stupor? Or did I borrow a book and never return it? Tell me, please.